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I Missed Talking to My Wife

September 18, 2011

“The key to finding the right spouse is finding someone you enjoy sitting on the couch talking to.” That’s what an elderly man, who’d been married for more than 50 years, told Ginger and I when we were first dating. “Because,” he said, “when you’re in your 70‘s conversation is all you’ve got!” 🙂 I immediately thought, “Ginger’s the one for me because I love talking with her”! But as the years went by with 4 young kids, my job, Ginger’s job, and the busyness of life – finding alone time was seemingly impossible. We found ourselves talking mostly at night when we were both in bed and exhausted.

When we were first married 15 years ago, Ginger & I walked almost every evening. A big perk to those walks was the built-in one hour conversation. Ten years ago our first child was born so we put her in a stroller and kept walking . . . and talking. Eight years ago our second child was born and we simply bought another stroller. Six years ago when our third child was born we replaced one stroller with a double-stroller and kept going. By the time our fourth child was born three years ago our oldest was too big to share a stroller and our family walks suddenly ended. So did our daily “conversation time”. I miss those walks but I missed those conversations even more.

We tried several solutions over the last three years: 1) We tried getting the kids to bed a little earlier and talking, reading a book together, etc. (We were usually too tired for this time to be consistent and meaningful), 2) Date nights (we schedule these monthly but it doesn’t replace daily conversations, and 3) Family nights (these are fun but little conversation time for Mom & Dad)

So recently Ginger said, “Let’s get up a little earlier in the mornings so we can have some coffee together and talk.” So the next morning we set the alarm earlier, had some coffee and, best of all, we rediscovered our talk time. We have done that every day since. I love it! In order to guard this time we work hard to get everyone to bed earlier, prepare/set the coffee maker the night before, and get up with the alarm clock (“opportunity” clock as Zig Ziglar calls it). Ginger’s an incredible woman and I enjoy talking/dreaming/planning with her.

How about you? How do you make time to talk with your spouse?

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From → Family, Leadership

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